You'll have to enlarge it, but here's what it says: "Dear Una, how about some turn-of-the-century see-through bloomers to smarten up your summer style?" LOL. JK, it says "Meet this year's runway darling, the harem." (Which is just a fashion translation of the first sentence, btw.)
(I am banging my head against my desk right now, back in a moment.)
Ok: Harem pants. You know, I'm not mad. Because I see what you're doing, fashion. You think we won't notice that harem pants are just the next step in the romper/jumpsuit evolution, worn by people smart enough not to wear a garment that defies urination and yet who would like to look like asshats anyway.
What are harem pants?
Harem pants are a
So, to recap, harem pants create the illusion of giant legs and a knee-height crotch, and have MC Hammer's seal of approval.
Who wears harem pants?
Female college athletes circa 1908
Also, if this picture is any indication, men suffering from elephantitis of the testes.
Aren't harem pants just expensive bloomers?
Great question! Let's investigate:
Granted, Exhibit B features a crotch hole for 19th-century bathroom needs, but barring that things are looking pretty similar.
Have you, Una, ever owned harem pants?
Well, gentle reader, it depends on the definition. For Christmas in the early 1990s, my mother gifted me with a fleece onesie pajama that we called, affectionately "The Sack." (image, I kid you not, from the Plow & Hearth catalogue)
From the waist down, it featured ballooning legs and tapered elastic ankles that restricted my movement so that I had to pivot from side to side in order to walk. The crotch was so low to the ground that I could have birthed a child in that thing without anyone knowing. The only difference I can see between The Sack and a harem pant is that I would wear The Sack in public.
Before I rest my case, consider that the word "harem" comes from the Arabic word ḥaram, which means 'forbidden place.' Consider yourselves warned.