Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is so stressful, blog post-wise. I don't want to write something sappy and boring but I also don't want to ignore one of the greatest food-based holidays of the year (not necessarily the greatest, as Passover, gefilte and all, has dayanued its way into my heart). Jeff and I are driving up to Spencer, Mass tonight, with my mother, two pies, and lots of wine in tow, for a Zorabedian Family Thanksgiving. To Jeff's mind, this is like a Manson Family Thanksgiving, only less fun. But I love family holidays, perhaps for the very reason that a room full of old emotional scars plus alcohol always makes for good writing material.

Seriously, though, I am very thankful this year, and not just for Jeff, President-elect Obama, and all of the serious reasons. For instance I am thankful for Steve Guttenberg for climbing out of my 1980s memories and into the present day media, and for jogging pantsless for no reason. I am also thankful for Paris Hilton's My New BFF, for giving me my new favorite line of all time to yell while intoxicated: "They call me bikini Corrie because I've earned it!" I am thankful for the ShamWow infomercial guy, who really makes me want to sop up an entire carton of orange juice with a handtowel, and for the fact that someone has hooked up a live feed to a litter of Shiba Inu puppies. I am thankful for Will Shortz, who keeps me humble, and the IRS, who keep me honest. I am thankful for body wash with moisturizers, because putting on body lotion is a pain in the ass, and not at all the sensual process it looks like in TV ads. I am thankful for the man who painted my building's front door the color of dark chocolate, because now every time I come home I think of candy. And I am thankful for the unfathomable number of people in New York city with gimpy legs, without whom I would have no place to channel my irrational rage.

Have a wonderful holiday!

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