There are a few things that make a person feel old. Knowing people who buy real estate ... babysitting someone who's never seen the original 90210 (and has never seen Dirty Dancing, which there is no excuse for, I don't care if you're thirteen)... not recognizing the celebrities in UsWeekly ... realizing that your favorite Gossip Girl actors were born in the '90s... but I digress. The biggest red flag comes but once a year, at Christmas.
I used to ask for elaborate toys that required a lot of assembly and which I promptly ignored after I used them once. Those were the days. I ended nearly all of my lists to "Santa" with the word "Suprises" followed by approximately twenty exclamation points. I was fucking excited.
I still get excited about Christmas, but now I'm excited about, like, eating and drinking excessively. This year I finally broke down and actually asked for socks. My mom always gets me socks in my stocking, but this year I really need socks, and I don't want to spend my pitiful disposable income on them.
I specifically remember being a kid and watching my parents be excited about things like socks or a book and making a mental note: That will never be me. Jokes on you, kid! And P.S. Your parents spent a lot of money on that dollhouse, so fucking play with it.