Well, I have finally caught plague from Jeff and am sitting here happily doped up on Tylenol Cold (no matter what cold medication I take, I always feel like I'm on Xanax... a nice side effect.) And even though I am weirdly blissed-out right now, I have a major bone to pick with Barack Obama, namely: Why must your hope-omercial interfere with my favorite show of all time? That's right, America's Next Top Model. And no, I don't even have cable, let alone DVR. Why you gotta make me choose, Barry? If I watch your heartfelt message, then I will miss the first, and possibly even the second TyraMail! I will miss the challenge! I won't know my ass from my elbow, basically; I will be lost. And it will be all your fault.
Understand, the only reason I wouldn't watch is because my vote for you is locked up tighter than the Hope fucking diamond. You could shoot someone in the face at this point, or yell "Black rage!" or moon the audience, and I would still vote for you. Isn't there an all-stupid-people network you could run the ad on? Oh, you're already running on Fox? ZING!
But seriously, I will watch, because Jeff will make me watch , as he always makes do the right thing, like not eat mini Snickers bars for dinner, or turn off the burner on the stove after I cook something.
So you win, Barry. This time. And hopefully next Tuesday.