When Refreshing Isn't Refreshing

As evidenced by, oh, the last eight months of posts, you can probably tell that I have developed a problem: I'm addicted to election coverage. The New York Times, CNN, The Huffington Post, Salon, Slate, MSNBC, The Daily Kos, BBC, hell, even Wonkette, Gawker, and NY Magazine's Daily Intel. I refresh and refresh, looking for some new fact, new poll, new scandal. People: I am behind like three weeks on US Weekly. This is bad.

The worst part is that most of the coverage makes me nervous or furious. A simple CNN headline—"Palin vows to 'shake things up'"—can set me off. Like today the New York Times ran the following:


and my inner monologue immediately went nuts: Oh, really? John McCain is not a maverick agent of change? And you say a poll found this out? What a fucking groundbreaking discovery! Worthy of a headline, I'd say!

This will not be good for my blood pressure.

Also the really depressing part is that I know that no matter the outcome of the election—though it will be dire if Chin Con-Anal Rash win—I will go into withdrawal on November 5. I can see it now: muscle memory causing me to click on 5 websites per minute, my strained and bloodshot eyes scanning the headlines for something to cling to, this blog a rambling mess of desperate political puns and conspiracy theories. But at least I'll have time to catch up on Brangelina again, so, you know, silver lining!

When Refreshing Isn't Refreshing