Friday, September 19, 2008

Weekend Project: Register People to Vote!

I don't think I know anyone who doesn't vote. But if you are reading this and you don't, I am using the honor system: Register to vote or stop reading this blog. Yes, I know that is cruel. I know my bon mots keep you going. But I am just going to have to get strict here.

You see, I have a deep fear of cold-calling strangers (let alone knocking on doors), so what I do to make the world a better place is A) give money to people who will cold-call and canvas and B) use this blog as my little soapbox. I am the executive of this tiny piece of real estate in the great big Internet. I am the decider.

You might be a regular voter, but I'm sure you know someone who's not. These people can be difficult to talk to because most of the time you just want to grab and shake them and deport them to a country with a fascist leader, but the least you can do is passively forward them on to this blog, where I can yell at them from the safety of my computer screen, or to an actual reputable voting site like Declare Yourself (I chose that one because it has Jessica Alba in a kind of bondage outfit, which is way sexier than your average government website).

Special bulletin to University of the Arts students ... most of whom I don't know but who do know my fabulous sister Zoe ... VOTE. You are in Pennsylvania, which is a swing state, and I don't care if you are an artist and you don't "do" the government—you are about to become starving artists in the worst American economy since the Great Depression. Think on that. Oh, and if you have a trust fund you'll be leaning on for awhile, let's hope the money's still there after this week. Also I can sic Zoe on your ass, and if you know her, you know her legs are freakishly strong.

I have constructed a handy flow chart for you or anyone you know who is not planning on voting (click to enlarge). Then watch the video below. Not only does Craig Ferguson have a delightful Scottish accent, he articulates his message in a funny and passionate way. He's not as mean as I am. But remember, I'm only mean because I care. Have great weekends, and get out the vote!





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