Thursday, September 18, 2008

Virginity in Ohio?


This is NOT about the election! Baby steps ...

So I have been hearing for a few days that Candace Bushnell is writing a series of Sex and the City prequels for HarperCollins that will follow Carrie during high school in , one assumes, a very un-cosmopolitan suburb. Jezebel ran an excerpt from one of Bushnell's emails today. Here is a taste:

The low self-esteem [Carrie] was working on; she had just recovered from the rhinoplasty she'd blown all her Bat Mitzvah money on. But after spending $3,000 to fix her "deviated septum," now she was too poor to take the bus to the City.

Um ... no. First of all, since when is Carrie Bradshaw Jewish? Second, Carrie has never had a nose job. Has Candance Bushnell forgotten what Sarah Jessica Parker looks like? Don't get me wrong—I love SJP's nose. But Carrie would never get a nose job. She is all about being her fabulous self. Please!

I do, however, want to know what Carrie punned about in her early years. I guess I just I can’t help but wonder what she couldn’t help but wonder about back in the '80s.

Some ideas:

...if you have chemistry with your lab partner, is it safe to turn up the Bunsen burner?
...is a hand job just a hand job if your heart gets involved? Or is it a heart job?
...if you have sex on prom night, does that make you prom-iscuous?
...if nothing comes between me and my Calvins, will I get a yeast infection?
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6 comments :

  1. Anonymous9:13 AM

    If you want, I can leave a printout of this entry on the chairs of the decision makers...
    :)

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  2. The "heart job" one is pricelessly accurate.

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  3. I heard a paper at a Jewish Studies conference a few years ago about the Jewishness of various television characters. It made a big deal of "outing" Carrie as a Jew. SJP recently wrote an entry about what her Jewish heritage means to her (only her dad was Jewish) in a collection of essays by Jewish celebrities, but I am fairly certain that SJP (along with the rest of the world) doesn't have any concrete evidence that the character of Carrie is Jewish.

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  4. and if she did get a nosejob, how did it all just grow back?
    oy vey.

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  5. Bahahaha.

    The best sentence ever: I guess I just I can’t help but wonder what she couldn’t help but wonder about back in the '80s.

    Loves. It.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Okay, the reason Sex and the City is awesome is because of Michael Patrick King and Sarah Jessica Parker -- not Candace Bushnell. Have you ever actually read any of Bushnell's books? They're awful. Like a total feminist Jovi punch. Just reading that excerpt made me sad. The magic is in SJP's attitude and MPK's puns. With that being said... delicious wondering, Curmdg!

    ReplyDelete

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