So here is what we learned this week*:
-A politically-named hurricane is going to hit Texas, but Texans are staring it down, high-noon style.
-Cindy McCain was a pill-popper! Like, a could-probably-self-medicate-Liz-Taylor-under-the-fucking-table pill-popper.
-Sarah Palin doesn't know shit! But she likes to shoot wolves from planes. Which kind of negates the whole "Democratic wolfpack is after Palin" ad McCain is running.
-Charlie Gibson has got nothing on Barbara Walters and Whoopi Goldberg.
-Obama was just joshing with Letterman about doing a centerfold for Popular Mechanics, but Popular Mechanics totally called his bluff.
-McCain's lies are finally getting attention from the media, but probably won't due any good because when pressed he lies about lying.
-Joe Biden spent the week unwittingly mocking the paraplegic and questioning his own fitness for VP!
-John McCain: older than nachos.
-I have no cavities.
Have great weekends, folks.
*Also, obviously, it was the 7th anniversary of 9/11 but I am not mentioning it here because I think everyone already knows, so please do not send me hate mail.