Wednesday, August 27, 2008

WTF, Teresa Heinz Kerry?

Hard as it is to believe, one of the first magazines I was ever addicted to was Ms. (It is hard even for me to believe it, as it had almost no pictures at all, let alone of stars' bikini bodies). I do remember, however, a great feature that published sexist ads and ran scathing feminist commentary alongside. Is Ms. still around? If so, they should have a field day with this:

I'm going to go ahead and assume that this isn't an ironic artwork titled, Trapped on Applebee's plate and unable to flee, mutant blind poultry Barbie emits primal scream.

Before we get to the more pressing issue of rampant misogyny, what are those fried balls? They are too round to be tater tots. Are they jalapeño poppers? I'm legitimately curious.

Next, food porn is not meant to be literal. Food and sex only go together well in theory, but ketchup nipples are a world of no.

Also, interesting choice to make the supine food nymph bald with no arms or feet. I'm not saying that bald is not beautiful, or that amputees can't be sexy, I'm just saying, would it have killed Heinz to at least make her a complete edible person instead of just jalapeño popper boobs, chicken legs, and nipples?

Now, I don't have much of a soapbox to stand on here, as my husband's pet project involves photographing styrofoam female mannequin heads covered with chicken skin and bacon, but I can't believe that an ad like this can exist in 2008. It's one thing to show a hot girl in Daisy Dukes serving a platter of chicken wings; it is quite another to form a woman out of appetizers, cut off her feet and take away her hair but give her nipples and lips, and suggest that men should actually eat her. Or, I guess, since the ad is for Heinz's hot ketchup, I guess they want men to cover her in ketchup and then eat her, which is even more sexual and even less appetizing.

Makes me think the folks at Drake's Cakes should seriously reconsider their marketing campaign for Devil Dogs.


  1. kristen8:51 PM

    I believe the asparagus is supposed to be her arm. this does not make it any less ridiculous though. maybe more so, because what is asparagus doing in a bed of lettuce, fried balls and chicken wings? I wonder how many women sit on this crack marketing/advertising team.

  2. That is revolting on all fronts.

    As to whatever Jeff is doing w/ bacon and chicken skin- such things should only be fried and consumed. Not draped or whathaveyou on mannequin heads...

  3. As Kristen said (over a year ago), I believe the asparagus is the arm... I also believe that bit of lettuce under her head is supposed to be her hair, and if you ask me, the little fried balls look like hush puppies. Mmmm... hush puppies. Wait... this is supposed to disgust me.


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