Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Last night I skipped dinner and had two glasses of wine, which, for someone of my size and constitution, equals drunky drunk. When I got home I leapt onto Jeff and began to regale him with inane sound bites, as I am wont to do when I have been on the sauce. Jeff sort of set me aside (nicely) and suggested I simmer down. Which is when I started it.
ME: "I'm not that drunk! Give me a sobriety test!"
JEFF (thinks for a minute): "Name the last ten presidents in reverse order."
ME: "Bush, Clinton, George H.W. Bush, Reagan, Carter, Ford, Nixon, Johnson, Kennedy .... um ...."
JEFF: "You like him."
ME: "Ike! Dwight Eisenhower! Give me another."
JEFF: "Name all of the states on the Eastern Seaboard."
ME: "Uh .... Maine."
JEFF: "Uh .... no."
ME: "But it's eastern!"
JEFF: "But it's not on the seaboard."
ME: "This sucks! This is a real test. I wanted a SOBRIETY test. Like touch my hands to my nose."
JEFF: "Walk in a straight line."
ME: "That's more like it."
Basically what this teaches us is that I was woefully betrayed by my schooling. I'd like to think that the wine had something to do with it. But then, I had no problem walking in a straight line.