Friday, March 7, 2008

Vote Gutt '08

When I was young, I loved Three Men and a Baby, like, psychotically. Watching it twenty times or so made me start to idolize the principle cast. I had a pre-adolescent crush on Ted Danson, I trusted Tom Selleck because of his kindly Dad 'stache (which could seem creepy to some, but my Dad had a 'stache back then, too), and, while he kind of annoyed me, I also grew fond of Steve Guttenberg, which turned out to be a bad celebrity investment.

The Gutt (which he calls himself; I can't take credit for it no matter how badly I want to) went on to star in such film gems as It Takes Two and Major Movie Star (the straight-to-DVD Jessica Simpson vehicle), and if you Google him you will see a lot of pictures of Howie Mandell. I remember watching the Oscars back in the '90s, and the Gutt was the first person on the red carpet. I remember thinking, Wow, who invited Steve Guttenberg? Party foul! Still, though, I secretly wanted to see him stage a comeback, and also to stop making that smarmy face he always makes.

Enter "Dancing With the Stars." The Gutt is a contestant this season -- a perfect comeback vehicle if there ever was one! I'm being totally serious. Everybody watches that show. All it will take for him to boost his ego and land a sitcom role is a mean samba ... and YOUR VOTE.

So please, help this punctual, talented actor regain his pride and his fame. Watch "Dancing With the Stars" and VOTE GUTT!

P.S. I will deny ever having written this. Do not remind me.

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