Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Holly GoHomely: Tuesday Night In

So often people ask me, so Una, what does a glamorous city girl like you do for fun? (Nobody has ever asked me that, at least not in real life. In my imaginary Vanity Fair interviews, I am asked this and many other hard-hitting questions, usually over a bottle of Rioja, usually by James McAvoy).

Let me tell you what I'm doing RIGHT NOW: Sitting on my couch, glass of wine and New York magazine in front of me, Weight Watchers pepperoni pizza Smartwich to my left (Note: this is by no means my dream meal, but I currently have about $20 in my checking account and this is what was in my freezer, alongside a very sketchy bottle of Jose Cuervo, dating - I think -- back to 2003). I am surrounded by Girl Scout cookies. Thin Mints, Samoas, and Tagalongs. I am watching Entertainment Tonight. I am Holly GoHomely.

I was IMing (that's Instant Messaging, to anyone born pre-1975) with a friend just before I left work for the day and I wrote the following sentence: "I am going home to drink, talk to you later." It wasn't until I re-read it that I realized how wrong it sounded. Don't most people go out to drink? Is it really, really sad that going home to drink wine in my living room is, to me, as exciting (if not more) than going out to a noisy bar? Do most people not drink alone while watching American Idol? Is that not normal?

Anyway, so be it. This -- the wine, the cookies, the mindless television -- is my idea of a good time. And I know I haven't blogged about my awesome trip to San Francisco ... I just need to scan a few things, and gather my notes. I will give you a preview, though:

-I met my idol Lynda Barry and she was fucking awesome! And she told me (well, the class, but I like to think it was just me) a dirty joke in a Midwestern accent.

-I spent Easter Sunday eating a tuna sandwich watching a "Hunky Jesus" contest hosted by drag queens (I know that the tuna sandwich isn't an important detail, but doesn't it make the mental image so much richer and slighlty more inappropriate?)

-One of said Hunky Jesus hopefuls borrowed a strap-on dildo from the lesbian couple I was staying with. What he used it for is yet to be determined.

More to come! Until then, you may ruminate on your jealousy of my delectable Tagalongs.
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