The social networking/time-sucking site Facebook is many things. It is addictive (as my sister said when I joined at the ripe old age of 27, "you will find yourself at 1 in the morning looking at pictures of your high school classmate's dog and you won't know why"). It is fun (I have documented my Mafia addiction on this very blog). But, as I found out today, it's also kind of a bitch.
There's an application called "Compare Your Friends" that randomly pops up pictures of your Facebook friends and asks you who is the better X,Y, and Z. I decided against using this app, as it reminded me all too painfully of the great Slam Book craze of the early '90s. But just because I don't use it doesn't mean it can't get me!
Behold, an email I received today from Facebook:
Here is what your friends think about...
... your strengths:
#1 best dinner companion
#1 best companion on a desert island
#2 best singer
... your weaknesses:
#52 most powerful
#52 best room-mate
(#number represents your ranking among your friends in certain category)
Look, I mean, that's not too harsh. It's even kind of complimentary. I am the #1 best companion, both for dinner AND on a desert island! But then it felt compelled to tell me that in some places, I was falling in the polls:
Other social news
Changes in your ranks:
1 place down, now #3 best friend
1 place down, now #3 best shopping companion
1 place d! own, now #4 most entertaining
1 place down, now #5 funniest
3 places down, now #5 most fashionable
Who the fuck is fucking up my humor/entertainment ranking??? I wouldn't even care if I didn't know. Damn you Facebook. You are, at heart, a bitchy eighth grade girl clutching a Lisa Frank Trapperkepper.