February 27 is, historically, an unlucky day for me. It started in 2002, when I was dumped by an old boyfriend, and was followed by a series of fights with Jeff, back in our tumultuous period. It took me most of the day to realize that today was my own personal Black Wednesday, but once I did, I decided to (un) scientifically document it.
8:00 am Alarm goes off; hit snooze.
8:10 am, 8:20 am Snooze goes off; hit snooze again.
8:30 am Jeff beats me to the shower; I do half-assed crunches and push-ups on rug.
9:00 am Too late for shower; attempt to brush hair; end up looking like aboriginal French woman in Lost.
9:30 am Man outside subway tells me B and Q trains aren’t running.
9:32 am He is lying. I just miss a Q train.
10:08 am I pay for my coffee using quarters.
10:12 am Late for work! No one notices.
10:13 am Servers are down; cannot edit any of the pages for the current issue.
10:15 am Also, all fonts have mysteriously gone missing from computer.
10:45 am Company-wide meeting. Forced to stand and smile for fifteen minutes.
11 am – 12:30 pm Various small, but disheartening, work encounters.
12:30 am Trip to Whole Foods to get sushi and soup.
1:00 pm Lunch disappointing – soup tastes funny. Browse gossip websites until eyes glaze over.
1:30 pm Browse shoes online until screen glare begins to cause facial tic.
3:00 pm Still no server. Am given stack of expense reports – none of them filled out correctly – to enter into the budget.
3:05 pm While dating my signature, realize today is my unlucky day, which immediately casts a pall over the existing pall of the work day.
3:07 pm All of my coworkers are idiots who cannot add.
3:10 pm Consider probability of receiving Publishers Clearinghouse check; deep malaise sets in.
4:00 pm Consume 4 100-calorie packs of Oreo wafers in attempt to buoy mood.
4:10 pm Levels of seratonin not responsive to Oreo stimuli.
4:30 pm Sister calls me to see how “Doomsday” is going. I say fine, then decide to recap my day to check.
5:17 pm Finished list reveals Edward Hopper-esque day of vague unhappiness and boredom. Could be worse.
5:18 pm Realize day is not over yet.