So, funny story. Actually, sad. Very sad.
I never have any money. You devoted readers know this.
You know that I have often struggled to pay the minimum on my credit card, which I blame for about 99% of my stress and thus charge my anti-anxiety meds to each month.
I have come to regard the cold, clammy panic of near-bankruptcy as a permanent facet of my personality, giving me that pathetic, paranoid edge that had been missing from my repertoire of neuroses until 2003, when I applied for my first credit card (Note to Past Una, if you somehow come to the future and read this: DON'T DO IT! SAVE YOURSELF! IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME!). So I wasn't surprised when. logging onto my credit account, a bright yellow message telling me that my account suggested risky activity and that I needed to call customer service, like, NOW.
When I read "risky activity", I immediately thought one of two things:
A. Someone has assumed my identity and has cleaned out the $5.49 of credit I have remaining, or
B. Some bitch at AmEx is going to tell me that I should stop attempting to pay in socks full of pennies and used Lotto tickets.
Imagine my surprise when I heard what was actually wrong:
"Ms. LaMarche, we see that you made a large payment toward your card that's more than you usually pay, so we put a hold on the account until the check clears."
So ... because I paid my bill on time, and paid more than the minimum for once ... they're ... putting a hold on my account? How SAD is it that I am so broke that when I pay MORE than the minimum they HOLD my account for the check to clear! Because they KNOW I'm so broke that I might be, I don't know, writing "make-believe" checks and trying to cash them all over town.
Thanks, Amex. Thanks a LOT. Your sock is gonna be full of brass knuckles next month.