Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Gingerbread Blues

Maybe I sealed my fate by saying that I knew the gingerbread brownstone I planned to build would be a disaster. Or maybe I just know myself too well; I don't follow recipes or directions and have the deluded confidence that everything I do will work (I blame Aries, the ram). Anyway, this weekend I spent a few hours making and rolling gingerbread dough and baking it into pieces. Here's what happened when things stopped being polite and started getting real:

Okay, so I made a GORGEOUS facade for my gingerbread house (note the stained glass LifeSaver windows):


I also made a back, side, and roof. But then I decided to try to move the thing before it was dry ... and I dropped it:


Only one side was ruined, but my resolve was broken, too. (My resolve is the brown pieces on the floor).


First I was devastated ...


Jeff was shocked (shocked!) that my elaborate baking experiment had failed!


Then, a true Aries, I got a little ... angry.


Here, I am deciding what to beat the icing out of next.


Then, suddenly, my spirit broke...


Until I realized that my broken dreams were edible (sure, there was some Gorilla Glue on there, but easy enough to avoid).


What, eating your broken dreams off the floor is pathetic, you say?


Well, I don't care. Yummy!


Nom nom nom nom nom.


Oh, beautiful LifeSaver windows!


If I can't have you, NO ONE CAN!



The roof was the next to go ...


The wreckage.


But, hey, the market is so bad, might as well try to offload it.


My tantrum over, my gingerbread brownstone in pieces, I was a broken woman ... with a sinkful of dishes to do.


Defeated.


I hope this (slightly violent) parable can teach you all a lesson: egg whites and confidence do not a brownstone build. Buy the pre-made kits.
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7 comments :

  1. Dude, I use Gorilla Glue when the soles of my boots start to come apart... you used it on FOOD!?!?

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  2. LMAQ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you guys are super hilarious!! better luck next time :-)

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  3. At least you looked cute eating brownstone wreckage!

    also, in re: your last post -
    Since when is our glorious subway system the world's most advanced urban rail system?

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  4. What ever happened to Crumudgeon of the week? Not that I don't enjoy watching you eat cookies off the floor:) But I know many avid blog readers who would love the part. And they're all real fucked up too so its perfect. snow is awful. I love you.

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  5. Anonymous4:39 PM

    i want you to not be wearing pants

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  6. i like that you were smart enough to use the sharpener as your implement of destruction. i would've used like an axe and caused some real damage. then i would've been sad.

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  7. uniiiiish, you're the cutest EV!!! i'll make cookies with you this week, if you'd like. we can play hooky and make cookies and listen to ella (and maybe some barbra) serenade classic Christmas carols! i'll be damned if your holiday tradish is so brutally taken away from you! terrif!!

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