Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Honeymoon in Rome: III

Here are my notes from October 25:

(dictated by Jeff, who remembers things)
-We got up, Jeff forced me to look at sunrise.
-walked past Patheon (again)
-Yosemite Sam lives there!
-past Piazza di Collonia - giant phallus
-to Trevi Fountain
-coin vaccuum - wishes nullified!!
-From there, we walked all over.
-Spanish Steps
-got to top, made Jeff walk down
-specify "no defecating"
-"no make dirty eating"
-"no shout and sing"
-Piazza del Popolo - bad public art
-Castel St. Angelo - costumes of random Italian actor
-None of Rome more than 5 stories
-walked until pants got cranks
-Tomato/mozz sandwich! Big ups!
-more broken stuff
-Augustus, Nirva forum
-Massive basilica of Constantine
-I freaked out because trash on fire!
-We walked around Palatine hill but it cost $ and we cheap
-saw giant grassy field which Jeff correctly ID'ed as Circus Maximus (Ben-Hur)
-Isola Tiberina = Bermuda triangle! Was I there?
-Nappy!
-Books!
-Margie
-Dinner=awesome
-Packing musket
-Goodnight!


Translation below, for readers who care:

(dictated by Jeff, who remembers things)
Yes, my husband had to tell me what we did that day. What can I say? His brain is a sponge, mine, a seive.

-We got up, Jeff forced me to look at sunrise.
The bastard.

-walked past Patheon (again)

Pretty self-explanatory. And pretty!



-Yosemite Sam lives there!
Look at this statue and tell me it doesn't scream “Rackin’ Frackin’ Varmit Rabbit”:


(and look, Hewey/Dewey/Louie are with him!)

-past Piazza di Collonia - giant phallus
Why are all monuments shaped like penises? Then again, all of the duomos in Italy do look like breasts ...

-to Trevi Fountain
After it had been so crowded, we were excited to see the place where millions of wishes had been made over the years ...

-coin vaccuum - wishes nullified!!
...only to find a dude there vaccuuming up all of the coins! This blew my mind! All of those wishes, voided!


(Vaccuum dude is in the orange.)

-From there, we walked all over.
Yup, we did.

-Spanish Steps
-got to top, made Jeff walk down

What this means is that somehow we arrived already at the top of the Spanish steps, so I made Jeff walk down and then walk back up again, because that is how I roll.

-specify "no defecating"
-"no make dirty eating"
-"no shout and sing"

A sign at the top of the Spanish steps specified "no defecating", which delighted Jeff to no end. New York MTA, how about some of those signs for the subway? As I have personally witnessed, not everyone takes this seemingly obvious social guideline as a given. (The other rules were just funny because of the bad English grammar.)

-Piazza del Popolo - bad public art
The public art in Italy was by and large so much worse than in the states. There's one thing we've got! Better bad public art! Eat that, Europe!

-Castel St. Angelo - costumes of random Italian actor
We went back to the catle/pope-haven that is Castel St. Angelo and paid admission to see the insides. It was a really cool, old castle that reminded me of Disney's "The Sword in the Stone" (yes, all of my historical knowledge is culled from medieval Disney cartoons. Oh, and "Ladyhawke", starring Michelle Pfeiffer.) While there, we accidentaly wandered into areally boring exhibition of some actor's costumes.

-None of Rome more than 5 stories
True city folk, we couldn't believe that, looking out over the city from the castle, Rome had not a single highrise. It's a good thing, obviously, but to New Yorkers seems kind of Twilight Zone-y.

-walked until pants got cranks

Meaning, we walked until I started bitching and moaning. In my defense, my little legs can only carry me so far before they begin to cramp.

-Tomato/mozz sandwich! Big ups!
Meaning, sustenance was found, and Jeff let me sit down.

-more broken stuff
My way of saying we saw the sights.

-Augustus, Nirva forum
-Massive basilica of Constantine

All large and impressive, but after a few days, a ruin is a ruin is a ruin.

-I freaked out because trash on fire!
Jeff thought I was overreacting when I ran in fear from a smoking trash can, but again, I'm a New Yorker. If you see something, say something run!

-We walked around Palatine hill but it cost $ and we cheap
We tried to do free activities for a few days, but we eventually caved and bought a ticket to almost every overpriced attraction in town.

-saw giant grassy field which Jeff correctly ID'ed as Circus Maximus (Ben-Hur)
I don't actually know anything about Ben-Hur, but when Jeff said his name by way of historical reference, I just nodded and wondered whether the Circus Maximus was as good as Barnum & Bailey's.

-Isola Tiberina = Bermuda triangle! Was I there?
On our way back to the hotel, Jeff gave me a tour of where we went on our first afternoon in Rome. I had no memory whatsoever. Which just goes to show, I don't generally pay attention to very much.

-Nappy!
We napped.

-Books!

We bought books (a history of St. Peter's for Jeff and a Stephen King for me ... each of us was digusted with the other one's taste).

-Margie
We took a tram across the river into Trastevere to pick up keys from my Mom's old friend Margie, who was letting us house-sit for her for four days. The apartment turned out to be big and comfy, looking out over a quiet, urban street that would have been right at home in the West Village. Margie served us some mouth-watering mozzarella di bufala and tomatoes and got us tipsy on Chianti before sending us on our way with the keys.

-Dinner=awesome
We had dinner at a small, rustic tavern in Trastevere called Taverna della scala. The food was so good, we were beside ourselves. We got drunk and ate tiramisu and had that romantic dinner I had been waiting for. Which just goes to show, you can't make a romantic moment -- it will happen when you stop worrying about it.

-Packing musket
This is a scatalogical reference based on a phrase David Sedaris used to describe his inability to ... go during a stay in France. I am sorry you had to read that.

-Goodnight!
Well, if you've made it this far, you must really love me, because even as I was writing this, I was like, oh my God, other people's trips are just like other people's dreams! No one wants to read about this! So, if you made it here, I apologize, especially for the penultimate comment. It is true, though. When things go in one end and not out the other, it really does feel like you're packing a musket.

I just lost you forever, didn't I?
Share/Bookmark

1 comment :

  1. Yours played out much like my trip to Rome, except that instead of a honeymoon with my new spouse, it was more of a tension-packed getaway with my best college buddy with whom I'd just fought. I think my personal highlight was the cat sanctuary. Chels and I were all "WTF" until, conveniently, an English speaking tour guide appeared from around the corner, approached us, and began explaining the phenomenon in great detail to her group whilst standing three feet away from us. No joke.

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...