Friday, September 21, 2007

Scariest Celeb Sighting Ever

I was sitting outside my office building with my co-worker Nick when he, in a Tourette's-like burst, said "Carrot Top!"

I looked up, just as a pasty transvestite wearing an African-print shirt sashayed past.
"What?" I asked.
"Carrot Top," he said. "That was Carrot Top."

At this point I recoiled in horror, because I hate Carrot Top. Physically, he makes my skin crawl -- I mean, he's like half body builder, half Amanda LePore, with an extra topping of crazy homicidal clown. And ... what does he do? Is he a comedian? I don't care. He is what you would get if you crossed Kathy Griffin with Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs and he is fucking scary as hell.

Without his weird orange hair and freakish biceps, he looked surprisingly tame. But the man has some hip action going on when he walks, so I'm willing to bet he plays for the other circus freak show team. Which, in hindsight, makes perfect sense. No straight man goes to the gym that much.

Ugh. Carrot Top. Shudder. Have great weekends!
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1 comment :

  1. I had a sex dream about carrot top once. It is the most disturbing dream I have had since I stopped having nightmares about being attacked and tickled to death by the seven dwarfs.

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