Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Just A Few Of The Things You Never Thought You'd Find Yourself Purchasing For Your Impending Nuptials:

1. 12 cups of freeze-dried flower petals;
2. A small pillow wrapped in a big gold bow, which looks like something a gay midget might sleep with but is actually meant to hold your wedding bands;
3. An aisle runner (just in case it rains and you have to get married indoors, and if it doesn't rain you are stuck with a fucking 50 foot burgundy runner which, just to tell yourself you got your money's worth, you will have to use to stage pretend red carpet events in your living room);
4. Blue underpants bedazzled with rhinestones spelling out "Mrs. Poo Pants"

Yeah, I was debating whether to post that last one. The explanation is even worse than you might imagine -- it doesn't have to do with poop, but it does have to do with Ronald Reagan.
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2 comments :

  1. Hey, I purchased the blue rhinestone-bedazzled underpants that said "Mrs. Mobettagrady". We all go thru it for some reason ;)

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  2. you didnt, did you? that's really funny and awesome.
    i can't wait to see this crazy stuff (well, maybe not the bedazzlers). heck, you can always let the red carpet line your staircase later.

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