Ahoy, matey. Have ye buns of steel?

So I really don't have time to write today, being as it is closing week for the magazine (for those of you not familiar, each month the issue "closes" or "goes to bed", meaning a full week of crazed, coffee-fueled deadlines, mercurial tempers, and greasy take-out. I like to refer to it as the office getting its period).

Regardless, last week I was walking to meet some friends for brunch, thinking about how I had to start getting in shape for the wedding (typical me moment: planning an exercise regime while on my way to gorge), and I looked over and this was staring out at me from someone's throw-away bin:



It's the closest thing to a sign from God I've ever experienced, as I normally hate exercise but I HEART old '80s workout videos, and actually own a vintage Kathy Smith VHS tape from 1985. So, even though the book was large and unwieldy, I took it.

Later that night I rolled out my ratty old yoga mat, cracked open the Jane Fonda Workout, and discovered -- to my delight -- that the model (not Jane, sadly) was wearing not only full-on leg warmers and a fertility-damaging, snap-up leotard, but
also HAD AN EYEPATCH.

If this isn't the best thing I've found on the street, then I don't know what.

Ahoy, matey. Have ye buns of steel?