Monday, July 2, 2007

Tandzeret chmrtem (I'll squish your balls)

I actually do a lot of work at work. I swear. But today, I got bored, and when I get bored I Google random things that I make mental notes to Google during the week. For instance, today I Googled "Hugh Hamrick", who is David Sedaris' boyfriend. This weekend Jeff and I listened to David Sedaris on CD in the car on our way back from Reading, and Hugh was mentioned a lot and I just got curious. Last week my girlfriends and I found ourselves wondering whether our vaginas have glands and valves the way that men have the prostrate and the vas deferens, so I found myself somewhat suspiciously Googling "vagina gland". It's like the modern version of looking up words you don't know in the dictionary. What can I say -- gay painters, vagina glands -- I love to learn!

Anyway, every now and again Jeff brings up the meaning of his last name, Zorabedian. My grandmother's friend Peter, who is also Armenian, told Jeff that Zorabedian means "son of the general", but so far we haven't been able to find proof. For some reason I was thinking about that today and so I Googled "Armenian names". I found out that the ending 'ian' DOES mean 'son of', but every Armenian name ends with 'ian', so I had bubkus. I then Googled "Armenian words", hoping that I could find the word for 'general', and that is how I stumbled upon the most wonderful thing I have ever read: Armenian curse words! Some gems:

Budjukhnert koonem.

I'll hump your thighs.

Dzous hamboures.
Kiss my ball (just one).

Eshoon noor oodel chi vayeler.
It's not pretty watching a jackass try to eat a pomegranate.

This is SO COOL! With the wedding coming up, these will really come in handy when I meet my extended in-laws.


  1. Micah9:02 AM

    that last one is right up there with "snow goons are bad news" in terms of lessons that will be applicable elsewhere in life.

  2. una, you are hilarious.
    that's all.


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