Friday, June 8, 2007

Curmudgeon of the Week

One of my oldest and dearest friends, Ms. Adrianna aka A-Track, agrees to be my curmudgeon guinea pig, and lets loose about Yankees (hiss!), her fiance Matt, currently across the world studying wild dogs in Botswana (Yay! Except for the phone cards), and how to curse the Greeks.




Name:
Adrianna aka "Adri" aka A-Track

Age:
26.5, but I must be getting old because I too often have to stop and do some math before I can remember my age

Curmudgeon Age (i.e. how old is your inner curmudgeon-- 50? 76? 93?)
Inner curmudgeon is definitely in her 40's because she still likes to dance with girlfriends, but doesn't have a tolerance for loud children and teens in public.

Provenance:
Brooklyn. Although according to others, it might as well be Puerto Rico, the Dominican Republic, or Egypt.

Occupation:
Life-time student. Official title is 'Ph.D. Candidate', but so far that has yet to impress people or get me respect. But give me another year and then you'll have to call me Doctah.

Top Five Pet Peeves:
1. California driving manners;
2. When people say 'that's SO funny' without laughing
3. Yankee fans and anything that they do;
4. Long-distance calling plans to Botswana that have time-delays of at least 2 seconds;
5. Wearing a ring all the time (because how are you supposed to put on adequate amounts of hand lotion without getting it all up in the ring?)
Extra: Am I allowed to say 'checking Una's blog just to find out that she hadn't updated it recently' to the list, or is that not appropriate here?

If you could blight one thing from the Earth, what would it be?
Yankee fans, no doubt. It would help people in all parts of society, brighten the futures of countless children, and bring peace to the streets of New York City and New England.

Okay, hypothetical: You're on trial for murder. You're claiming justifiable homicide. Who did you kill and why?
My roommates, because they left so many dishes in the sink and hoarded away so many glasses in their rooms. I kidnapped both the hippies and then forced them to eat meat to death like that glutton guy in the movie Seven. (Unfortunately, I came up with that way too fast. It's not necessarily justifiable, but it sure makes me feel better)

What makes you (irrationally) lose it?
When calls to Botswana don't go through on the phone and all I get are automated bitchy voices at the other end. I flip and it ain't pretty. If only those automated ladies could be used as a punching bag or pinata ...

You must like some things. What are they?
The Mets. Fudge (minus the accompanying stomach pains). Celebrity gossip. Sweet smelling flowers. Dancing in the car to songs by Ne-Yo as a performance for the truckers. Being gifted a new entry on Una's blog when I check it as part of my daily routine.

Do you believe in true love?
Word. Ever since Princess Buttercup threw herself down the hill after Wesley, I've been a believer of twue wove. Love is as true as you can get with someone.

Pick one: I prefer …
Rainbows VS Thunderstorms
-- rainbows (I'm still chicken shit when I hear thunder)
Sweet VS Spicy
-- tongue likes spicy, digestion prefers sweet
Comedy VS Drama
-- comedy, when it's quality
Elizabeth VS Jessica (what do you mean, who are they? They are the
Sweet Valley Twins! Did you not read in 1991?)
-- Elizabeth, because Jessica was stupider and bitchier. Of course I read those books! Why do you think I was allowed to hang out with Una in Elementary School.

What's your favorite curse word/phrase?
I still chuckle every time I hear the classic Greek curse which translates into 'bite a ball' said while grabbing your crotch. I make it rain on them hos!
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