Monday, May 21, 2007

What I Learned in College

My five year college reunion is this upcoming weekend, so I guess it's fitting that I regressed to college-level alcohol abuse this weekend. Those who know me would not peg me as a drunk, or the kind of girl who might find herself needing to vomit into her purse while speeding over the Manhattan Bridge in a cab ... but this Saturday night, I proved them wrong.

If, horribly, there are any children reading this, kids, let me say this: You will learn a rhyme in college (or maybe even high school, if you grow up fast enough). The rhyme goes like so:

Beer before liquor, never sicker.
Liquor before beer, you're in the clear.

This is a genius rhyme, and you will need to reference it probably more often than your times tables as you stagger your uncertain way towards adulthood. Remember this, though: though the rhyme does not include wine, wine and liquor in any order will generally result in a night spent over the toilet.

Oh, and please remember to tip your cabbie generously. It's the least you can do.

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