Haven’t had a wedding update in awhile; I know you’re jonesing for it.
The truth is, there hasn’t been any wedding stress to gripe about. Based on my experience with weddings (the Father of the Bride movies, mostly, and Bridezillas), I imagined that immediately upon becoming engaged I would enter a stage of life comprised entirely of montages and dramatic melt downs. I don’t think any of you will be surprised to learn that I am very disappointed with the way things turned out. I’m …. calm. Happy. Worst of all, I have nothing to complain/gush about. Everything’s going smoothly. Everything is ahead of schedule. At the rate I’m going, Jeff and I will probably be married by August.
Since I have nothing to do, naturally, I invent things to do, such as designing the programs, scouring online ribbon sites for the right shade of grosgrain trim for said programs (which, it must be noted, will likely not be completed until the month of the wedding, as we have not even begun to work on the ceremony), and debating what type of paper is best for the construction of flower petal cones. I would actually be a fantastic wedding planner, if I liked meeting new people. I have turned wedding planning into a vaguely scientific, large-scale arts and crafts project. It is my fifth-grade dream come true.
It is also my pre-school dream come true. To wit, here is my list of wedding must-haves:
- Must have CANDY
- Must have people pelt us with things as we walk back down the aisle (I have always loved the tradition of the blinding hail of rice as couples emerge from a church, but seeing as Jeff and I are getting married in a garden, we may have to make do with flower petals, so as not to choke small animals to death).
- Must have lots of dancing.
So … candy …. throwing things … dancing …. yeah, my priorities haven’t really changed much since age three. Luckily for all involved, I have evolved in my fashion choices; I will not be nude or covered in Crayola marker tattoos.