I interrupt today’s regularly scheduled blogging for a special report: I set my hair on fire today. First time! If you know me, you’re probably shocked right now, not because I set my hair aflame, but because I have managed not to for almost twenty-seven years. I’m not going to divulge how I set fire to my hair, as the story makes me look stupid. Suffice to say I wasn’t saving children from a burning building. Also, an executive at my company saw me do it. In fact, she put me out. Suffice to say I have to find a new job.
Really, though, I’m fine – I still have my hair, only a very slight burn, and a strong, unpleasant smell. I have, however, lost whatever little dignity I had left. As Jeff said when I told him the story, “Only you.” He did not mean “Only you can make this world seem bright/ Oh-only you can make the darkness light”. He meant “Only you could manage to set your hair on fire in your workplace.” Other things only I am capable of: falling head first off of a bunk bed onto a tin dollhouse; wiping out during cross-country skiing; tripping over Larry Flynt’s wheelchair; eating an entire bag of Tootsie Roll midgies for breakfast.
What, they’re good!