Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Tuesday Thoughts

I have a headache. I think it’s because I never seem to get enough sleep. A good night’s sleep eludes me, mostly because I am too crafty for my own good. For instance, I will get into bed at 11:00 but will read or do the crossword (yes, I’m a nerd) until 1:00. I only think I went to bed at 11:00. On the other end, I do a truly optimistic and idiotic thing: I set my alarm clock for 7:00 am every day. To most of you, that may not seem early, but it is a full hour before I actually have to wake up in order to get to work on time. Why do I set my alarm for seven? So that I can indulge in a cruel fantasy game called ‘Today I will go to the gym.’ I never go to the gym before work. I just don’t have the willpower. And yet my alarm continues to go off every morning in the hopes that today will be the day everything changes. Waking myself on purpose only to fall back asleep can’t be helping my lethargy. I am also lucky enough to sleep next to someone, but two bodies have a tendency to wake each other up during the night in their unconscious, ever-shifting configuration of limbs.

I’ve also been stressed lately, over the wedding. I am super excited, don’t get me wrong, but … how do I put this without sounding like a spoiled princess? … I am feeling guilty about the money involved. I, what with my -$888,888,000.000 checking account average, am not paying for my own wedding; instead, my very generous father and slightly more wall-eyed (but nonetheless generous) mother are hosting the Big Day. The thing is, I had no idea how much weddings cost. Granted, I’m not having an intimate gathering in a backyard, but I’m not going crazy either. I’m having a pretty standard, if “big”, wedding. Somehow, though, I vastly underestimated the costs. The initial budget I presented to my father (which caused him to inhale sharply) has since grown by 50%. As a former boss of mine would say, this is a “high class problem”. I know I shouldn’t whine about which trappings and trims I’ll have to forego in order to have what will surely be, no matter what, an incredible wedding. Still, the princess guilt is weighing on me. I have always had a problem asking my parents for help, and to ask them to willingly fork over more than one year of my salary for my wedding seems very spoiled indeed (Who did the spoiling, though, I’ll never know; my parents got married at City Hall!)

Luckily for my stressed little ass, I am off to Park City, Utah for four days at the Sundance Film Festival! As far as I can tell, it will involve a lot of movies, food, and quality time with Dad. What with the snowy mountains, my Rodney Yee Power Yoga DVD, and lots of red wine, I’m sure to return to New York a blissed-out bride to be …

I’ll miss my sleeping buddy, though.


  1. i forgot you're going to sundance! have a wonderful time and i can't wait to hear about it. if you see gael, propose to him for me, please.

  2. I do the exact same thing. I've managed to do a workout video before work maybe three times in the past year (more likely two), yet I continue to set my alarm for earlier than necessary every day, even when I go to bed at 2am having consumed 4+ glasses of wine. Pointless!

    I'm not even prepared to start planning for my wedding (well, ceremony-- for visa reasons, we'll be tying the knot a year early.) I have an idea of how much it will cost us, but would prefer to live in denial about it as long as possible.

    But, even paying for the whole shindig ourselves, I'm already feeling guilty over the ordeal. All of my friends and family members (who range on a financial scale of "doing OK" to "barely scraping by") feel obligated to cross the Atlantic in order to be part of which will essentially be a "renewing of vows". Sad, really.

    And now that I've managed to veer entirely away from actually commenting on your post, and have dished out more information than you probably care to know, I'll end with this:

    So jealous of your Sundance trip!


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