Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Decisions That Suck

I'm in a bad mood this week because a certain program I worked on for over a year is airing on PBS, and it brings back bad memories of being unceremoniously booted off the show and then never spoken to again by any of my (at that time fairly close) work friends. I know time heals all wounds, and that I'm happy and engaged and writing for a magazine, etc., but I still feel poisoned by the experience, mostly because I know I have a very bad reputation at my old workplace, one that I don't feel is deserved but that I'll never have a chance to refute.

Right before I got let go, I was on a work trip to Cambridge, MA. I hadn't even gotten my coffee the morning of my return when I was told to pack up my desk. Because of this I am now insanely paranoid. I had a nightmare on Saturday night that I would get fired from my current job, and I was so shaken that I came into the office on Monday feeling like I had something to prove. Everything's fine of course, mostly because I'm much better at what I do now than I was at what I did then (hey -- I never said I didn't deserve to get canned, I just take issue with the bedside manner). I guess the moral of this story is simple: do what you love first, but make sure you're good at it before you get too cocky. If you love doing something you suck at, it's probably a good idea to keep it as a hobby. Like what I do with poetry.

I'll be back soon, and hopefully more chipper.



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