Thursday, December 7, 2006

If Santa himself was blocking the entrance to Hammacher Schlemmer, I would tell him to move his fat ass.

Because Christmas Una must be anesthetized with Captain Morgan's-spiked eggnog at all times, she is unable to summon the snarkiness required to unleash her vitrol at the masses of assholes Christmas shoppers clogging the city streets. Luckily, the Gawker editors can read her mind.
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1 comment :

  1. John Z10:15 AM

    Okay, New Yorkers, we get that you live in the Coolest City in the World, and that you are undoubtedly the Hippest, most Awe-Inspiring Creatures, so why do you have to be such Dicks about Out-of-Town Rednecks basking in your Glory?

    You know, if it weren't for us Hicks and Nose-Pickers coming to throw our money at your Way-Too-Expensive Eateries, Shops, Shows, and Other Attrractions, New York would be just a collection of Stuck-Up Assholes with No One to Hate on But Yourselves.

    Sorry, Una, I love your NYC sauciness and sophistication. And of course, Jeff's a snob wherever he goes. But, c'mon, that Gawker post is, well, obnoxious.

    Suck it up, guys. Walking behind Fat Suburbanite Behinds is not nearly as horrifying as ... Living in the Suburbs!

    Much love,
    Out-of-town John

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