Wednesday, November 1, 2006

The Mets Make Me SHHAD

So, I’ve been scolded by my Mets-loving friend Adri for not posting about the NLCS. Truth be told, I don’t generally follow baseball unless a team I like (the Red Sox and the Mets, respectively) is doing well. Then, of course, there’s the issue of my emotional involvement. I suffer from a strange affliction that can best be described as Second Hand Humiliation Avoidance Disorder (SHHAD). I get so upset watching people lose that I literally turn my head away from the television. My reality TV show addiction exacerbates SHHAD symptoms; I watch every episode of America’s Next Top Model with glee, but when that moment comes when Tyra Banks dashes one of the skinny bitches’ hopefuls’ dreams, I find it hard to look at the reaction shots. This translates, in the wide world of sports, to my inability to watch any of the following: strikeouts (player humiliated); home runs (pitcher humiliated); fumbles; pitcher substitutions; manager and/or coach reaction shots; and, of course, the end of any given game. In my perfect world, every team would win and no person would every have to suffer a sad reaction shot in HDTV.

So, really, the reason that I didn’t post about the Mets losing the NLCS is that I wasn’t watching. In the 8th inning of Game Six, I lay down on my bed and closed my eyes. Jeff was watching the game in the other room, and I listened for tell-tale cheers. When there was silence, followed by the click! of the TV being turned off, I knew it was over. I take pretty much everything too seriously, and baseball is no exception. Let’s not even bring up the Red Sox.
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3 comments :

  1. Julia5:32 PM

    I don't generally post responses, but I wanted to let you know that this seems to be a genetic disorder. Do you know what my dad (Una's cousin, for those who don't know) was doing during the last 3 innings of Game 7 of the 2004 World Series? Driving around the parking lot of the Mohegan Sun with the radio OFF! Because he couldn't bear to listen to it... even though it was very very clear that the Red Sox were going to win.
    I'm telling you, it's genetic.

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  2. maybe if you had taken your anti-SHHAD medication then you would have been watching the tube and your good vibes would have translated into a mets win in the bottom of the ninth. i blame it all on you.

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  3. My sports-related ailment is this: every time I root for a team, they lose. This goes for both live events, and TV broadcasts. I can not think of ONE exception. In high school, our basketball and football teams weren't bad, but somehow every game I managed to attend resulted, inevitably, in "our" losing. So, even if I had the slightest interest in sports today, I'd probably avoid them all together. The only benefit of this curse presents itself when I enter a situation in which I have absolutely no bias or interest in the game. A friend can simply tell me which team they want to lose. I focus all my energy into cheering on that team, sending them my positive vibes, and then everyone wins! (Well... except, I guess, for the team that I've indirectly willed to lose. Hm.)

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