Days left until wedding: 365
Number of wedding magazines read: 1
Number of Diet Cokes (so far): 1
Number of fake breasts currently on person: 2
Number of co-workers frightened: 3
So a few months ago my friend Chessa got married and I was her maid of honor. The dress she picked for the bridal party, while gorgeous, did absolutely nothing for my rack. I resigned myself to a withered chiffon bust … until one day I came across a website selling curious little silicone cutlets that were intended to be stuffed into bras to increase cup size. I ordered them, and they came in the mail ….
Ordered June 2006, arrived October 2006. Oh well. The important thing is that I have them now, and am indeed wearing them in secret. They feel a bit funny, but I’m hell bent on getting my money’s worth.
So far, no one in my office will take me up on my dare to poke me in the chest with a pencil, but the day is young …