Friday, March 31, 2006

My So-Called Life

Today I stumbled upon the first publicity for our film! (Look at the second 'Arts & Culture' link).

Although Wesleyan is my alma mater and therefore is only doing itself a favor by promoting Cedar Heart, I'm kind of giddy. Last night Bajir, our new Director of Development Suzanne Appel, and I sat down for a meeting and suddenly it dawned on me: this is serious. We are making. A real. Movie.

Remember in high school, when the seniors always seemed so old and wordly and awesome, and then when you got to be a senior you didn't feel that way at all? Well, I know that other people make films. Other people have pow-wows late at night huddled around bags of stale blue corn chips, give their friends jobs and titles and use every asset they have at their disposal to make their film happen. They wonder, do we have a friend with a pool who wouldn't mind us throwing furniture in it? A supermarket we can get to let us film after hours? An undiscovered actor we're willing to take a chance on? Other people take leaps of faith and stupidity and come out trumphant on the other end.

But me? I'm just a high school freshman trying on the big kids' shoes. I wonder if I'll ever feel any different. I wonder if I want to. There's a kind of breathtaking magic that happens when you find that you've underestimated yourself ... it's quite something to be awestruck by your own life.

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